THANKSGIVING – A FESTIVITY FOR GRATITUDE & GIVING

Finally I am sitting in the airplane. The past weeks have been somewhat stressful, working, organizing, life with all its ups and downs. As I look outside the window, enjoying the endless view above the clouds, the whole stress seems like a distant fog to me. I am finally where I want to be – home.

First I wasn’t sure whether or not to take this trip to NYC. Wouldn’t it be nicer to rest and stay in my beloved new apartment for the last 2 months, after traveling almost the entire year? Yes, it could have, but I truly feel that this is a trip I need to take. NYC has been calling me in several ways, same as Rio did in summer. I look forward to my dear friend Kate, to spend Thanksgiving with her family and to explore and soak up inspiration from the city that never sleeps. I have never spent Thanksgiving in the United States. Dear friends from the US have once invited me to a “Friendsgiving” when they used to live in Germany. However I feel like that is nothing compared to actually being in the USA for it. A festivity that culturally seems to have far more importance than Christmas. A festivity of gratitude sharing thankfulness and love, reflecting the year and setting a new focus. Mhmmm, sounds nice, so what am I thankful for?

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While 2015 was a very transformative year of detaching from the known field of play (quitting my job, saying goodbye to all that doesn’t serve me anymore, not having a home, rearranging my path, setting a new focus), 2016 has been a year of creation for me. I worked again, but under new conditions: as a freelancer, which proved me right that I love my job and the wonderful teams in each project and which brought me to many fanciful places. Thus, having more freedom to create my life really liberated me. I finally have the possibility to surrender to creative flows in whatever day or night time they overwhelm me. Moments in which I feel closest to myself, at home.

Socially I got to spend more time with my family and friends, I made great encounters and learned to allow myself to be authentic. To share my truth, my feelings, my joyfulness. I learned that this is the only way to be truly happy and subsequently a source of inspiration for others.

I feel blessed to have attracted wonderful people into my life accompanying me on my path. Those kind of friends who mirror my strengths and keep pushing me to step into that truthfulness with guts and excitement. So I am to call Amelie, my dear soul sister, a catalyst for my most joyous inspiring ideas. Thus it was merely a consequence that we actually started working together, stepping into our powers with this blog, which serves us as a platform to share our naked truths. Another precious companion, Jerry, has become a wonderful and important soul brother whose wisdom and pushing attitude inspired me greatly to face and overcome my fears on all levels of my life. And then there are all these great old and new friends around the globe who love and believe in me, who share the same philosophy and resonate in greatness and co-creation.

I’m even more grateful for making peace with people I had issues with in the past. I finally made peace with my mom. She has been my biggest master and role model in life. It took me quite some time, but I finally accepted her entire being. Her impatience, her stubbornness, her moments of unreflected and way too emotional reactions and statements. As much as she upset me, I honor her for being that brave-hearted, adventurous super-woman, a believer and a maker. A woman that finds solutions for everything, one that always wanted my best, that supported me in every life decision and always tried to be a good mother, wife and friend. Tears of gratitude come into my eyes, as I am typing these words, cause it has taken a while to get to this point. I love and thank her so much for teaching me all this.

The essence of what I learned is that it wasn’t about her, but that I haven’t really accepted MYSELF entirely (with all my light and shadows) and as much as I pointed fingers at her, I actually pointed out my own shadows. It was only until I allowed myself to be genuinely me, that I started accepting both, weaknesses as well as talents in others. How did I do that? By looking at her not as my annoying mum but as a human being. A woman that also always has had dreams and ideals. A woman, mother and wife, who just tries her best at life in this crazy world. A human that is not perfect, like myself. I started looking at these qualities, which once annoyed me, with loving, empathetic eyes and sometimes even with my biggest laughing smiles. The same smile and kindness I automatically started addressing to the same shadows inside of me. Becoming friends with myself and making peace within. I can be the biggest critic of myself, I still sometimes am and that’s ok. Cause every day I get better at laughing at this monkey mind in my head. I believe that is what we are here for: to get to know ourselves, to learn, to grow and to expand. Every day, with every encounter, in every moment… There is a saying of Marcel Proust which fits quite perfectly here: “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.“

And still I travel for discovery, cause I love it – yet, with new eyes… Lao Tzu adds to this: “A good traveller has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.“ That is what I love about traveling and about life as a journey: Realizing that there is no such thing as “arriving“, because we continuously learn and develop to a better, more updated version of ourselves – each one on a different level, in a different state, at a different pace. Being in this state of mind or at this state of heart makes me feel most centered and vulnerable at the same time. I’m downloading these words as they evolve from the ink of my heart. It somewhat feels like this trip is bringing me into that state, as if I lost sight and am back on the trail now. So I want to remain with my heart open and make it my compass for this trip – meaning my time in NYC as well as the rest of my lifetime on this planet.

Coming back to Thanksgiving, I also want to address gratitude to myself, to the home I carry in my heart, to the beauty and unexpected capacity of my soul. “There is no app for happiness“, says Max Strom, as it is an inside job. He is one of the wonderful teachers who helped me comprehend and experience this message by releasing old grief from my wounded inner child. I am very grateful for that.

Finally, all those who know me better, know how infatuated I’ve become with numbers in the past year. 2016 in sum is 9 and thus stands for completion – the year of completion. As emphasized at the beginning, this year truly has brought me to creating many milestones in my life that make me feel complete: I found my dream apartment, I made peace with people, my job, my heart. From there I stepped into my truth and am sharing it with the blog, and in yoga classes which I started to teach. I managed and dared to express my dreams and my feelings which brings me a step closer to the person I want to be. All perfectly round off with the magical number of 33, as it is 33 times that my physical body already circled the sun on this planet. Not only is it the same age when Jesus died and rose, (for me) representing enlightenment. It is also a powerful number that stands for manifesting my dreams and that everything is possible. Since I found out about that, I made this my playfully secret rule for this year and I look back to this work of completion with awe and gratitude.

So I thankfully share these insights with you.

I am happy. I am grateful. I am complete.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Merken

Merken

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