PRESSURE MAKES DIAMONDS

Today is a very special day for me. Exactly 1 year ago I got my dream apartment!
Well, at the first glance, this may sound like nothing special, right? You may think, ok, she looked for a place and found it. But it wasn’t at all like that. Therefore I want to share this special story with you, cause it still gives me goosebumps today and I want to honour this event or rather this journey.

So where I came from was 4 years of continuous movement around the world since fall 2012. I got a job in Brazil and thankfully dived into this amazing adventure, which involved a lot of travelling back and forth and all around, what I never expected. I thought I’d move over, find a place and then after 2 years move back. Destiny however had a different plan with me and I ended up staying in one place no longer than 2-3 months in 2 years, had no own place, lived off a suitcase and always staid in a new neighbourhood, apartment, hostel or hotel room. In short: I was a nomad before I knew it and not to my surprise – I loved it!
I loved being on the road, I love the minimalism that came with living off one bag and I loved that the world was home to me in many different manifestations. I unwinded my world’s limitations and was naturally drawn to this sense of freedom, in a way that I longed for less and less, for more minimalism. In that process I gave up most of what I owned, most of what had defined my life until that moment. I ended a long-term relationship, I quit my long-year job and I got rid of most the things that had been packed up in boxes over the years anyways. I got rid of limiting beliefs and opened up for a whole new chapter of my life.

I lived out of a suitcase and surfed all the couches of old and new friends I made along the way, staying in one place no longer than 2 to 3 weeks. I didn’t even plan that like a concept or so, it came natural that I planned maximum the coming 3 weeks ahead and let things unfold as I wanted. I felt home on the road, on the train, in the plane, at the airport, in yoga studios, in nature and the world. I found beauty everywhere I went and I found great company whenever I needed it.

At some point I started freelancing and early 2016 I did a job in Munich, Germany which to my surprise came with a welcoming routine. It was during that time that I realised that in order to follow my dream projects, it would actually be wise to settle down some time soon to create something bigger than me. Amelie was in town that time, just returned from her trip to India and we both needed perspective, a project, as my project would end soon and she was ready to start through with something new as well. So we came up with an inspiring and fun workshop for ourselves to narrow down what we want to do with our lives. We ended up filling around 6 meters of this thick brown wrapping paper with scribbling and drawing and writing out our biggest dreams, talents, visions and potential projects.

So the WHY and WHAT was clear, now I had to think of there WHERE. Munich felt great, I met good people there. I loved the subculture, spiritual communities, food and nature. But hey, wouldn’t Barcelona be a much nicer and inspiring environment for me? Especially after living in Rio de Janeiro? Well, reasons, intuition and the common dream with Amelie guided me to stick to Munich or even to the nearby villages at the lakes, where like-minded boys and girls with huge dreams cluster. Amelie and I had all these dreams about a sunshine community house and a blog and a bus by the lake. So we went for it and looked at places, checked out all villages around Munich until we finally found her dream community!

We found it by entering a tiny organic supermarket and asked if they knew of any cool people around, who may be open to share their homes with us. All information we got was that some guy may be able to help, who lives in some street. They had no contact details, but we still decided to just drive there and look out for him. We had no idea which house, which name, whatsoever and the first place that caught our attention, when we drove through the street, was the one house of that specific guy. Seven freaky cool people live there, who meditate every morning in the living room and do social events and gatherings. Everything from a gardener, over flow specialist, yoga teacher and peace alumni lived there. We have been warmly welcomed and even spent the night over. It felt just perfect to us, like coming home. The great news was: they even had space available however the downside was: they only had 1 free room. As it has actually always been rather Amelie’s dream, I knew it was not my calling. So a few weeks later, she moved in! No happily ever after, but for the moment being that was her apartment-finding-success-story 🙂

Now back to my story: In that community home I felt great, however after nomading so long and living out of a suitcase, I really craved having my own place again. One that is empty and that I can bring to life with my own personal fingerprint. Ideally one with a big community space to host yoga classes or similar events and workshops. So when that was clear and Munich didn’t reveal anything close to my dream home, I packed up all my stuff and somewhat repentantly, lost and frustrated moved back to the place where I am always welcome: at mum and dad’s. I nearly cried when I entered the house with my stuff and I swore to myself that this would be the last time, that I move back into my old kids room. I got back there in the week of the Easter Holidays and went out to party with my friends. When I told them about the situation, Anne said that I could move into her old apartment right away, but I would need to make a decision within the next 3 days.

Damn, that felt like a rapid solution! But it was quite some time pressure to make such a big decision. I instantly knew that this is not my dream apartment, but it gave me the opportunity to examine where it would be best to settle down and what exactly I am looking for. After so many years of having seen the most stunning places, I was kind of spoiled with sun and beach and ease, that Hanover has never ever made it to the top 10 of my dream destinations to live at. So I was suddenly confronted with quite disruptive forces: 1. settling down in general and 2. settling down in my ever boring home town. In the end and after many hours of talk therapy with my friends, I decided that Hanover offers actually a quite decent deal: It’s a small city, I get around by bike easily, it’s close to the airport, the airport is tiny and check-in super relaxed and fast, it is perfectly situated in Europe, offers a lot for cheap rent, I would be close to my family and friends, great green areas, ok enough cultural diversity and so the idea of a Hanover Hub was born.

The idea was there, I was sick and tired of looking for places though, after visiting numerous shit-holes. The years before I have lived in amazing pent houses, roof top apartments, beach facing places, that I definitely didn’t want to move somewhere of minor comfort. My expectations where high, the requirement list was long and I had no intention to lower my vision neither to having to look for it. Part of my vision was that the apartment should find me. That’s rather passive and sounds impossible, as apartments cannot speak for themselves. So how can it find me? By telling as many people as possible that I am looking for a place and also sharing the exact details of how I imagine it. That already got me closer and I looked at some more interesting places.

Luckily I have a dear cousine who, I had no idea of, has a weird but amazing passion for checking the real estate market on a regular basis. Anything from investment to lease in town is on her radar, even though she doesn’t need a place. She basically helps others (for free!!!) with her super skills of a high-tech research data base. So it happened that exactly yesterday a year ago she simply sent me a photo of an ad for 2 apartments that fit to my search profile. The first one sounded good, but ended up not meeting my requirements, after I called. The second one didn’t really say much in the ad, but I called anyways and decided to check it out the next morning. The street wasn’t my favourite, but I thought I’d give it a try.

In the evening we had a ladies night planned and went out dancing and I had planned to stay with my best friend. I didn’t intent on going too wild though, as I wanted to be fit for the apartment visit at 10am, plus I didn’t feel so well. So I ended up going home earlier than all the others. My phone, that I usually turn off at night, rang in the middle of the night. On the other line was my friend, pretty tipsy, who seriously asked me if I could get out of bed, out of her apartment, stay somewhere else, cause she met a guy and wanted to spend the night with him. I couldn’t believe what I heard, couldn’t believe the crazy bad timing, as I felt really sick and weak and tired. But I also knew that she wouldn’t ask me, if the guys wasn’t special. So I of course gave in, but really upset, feeling like shit and left alone.

So I packed my bag, biked to my brothers place, whose apartment keys I luckily still had and where I knew was always at least a couch available. When I got there, the door was looked from the inside though. It was 5am and I was trapped in the hallway of some house with my bag and no shelter. Eventually, my brother heard me trying to open the apartment door and opened the lock from inside. With the first step into the apartment I bursted into tears, being physically sick and emotionally sick of depending on others and of not having my own place to stay and to retreat when I need time for myself. This frustration expressed itself in 2 hours crying and journaling and finally strategic planning on how to get my own apartment. I was so sick of this situation that there was no other way than fighting to get the apartment that I would visit in a few hours, if only 50% of all my requirements on the list were fulfilled.
I made a master plan. Even with a huge lack of sleep, I set my alarm to 8:30am, did my morning practice, took a shower, dressed up nicely and was at the respective house 30 minutes early, in order to be the first one. So far the plan worked out, I was proud as punch. However, I had no idea which apartment bell to ring. I double checked the ad, the message from the landlord, but this detail has not been shared up front.

Now, I could have decided to wait for the rest of the group of visitors, who would be there in half an hour, but that would interfere with my clear plan I diligently worked out before. I really couldn’t believe that my plan would only fail because I didn’t know which one of the 8 apartments in this house it was. So I used an excluding method and ended up presuming it to be an apartment in the 2nd floor. Now, left or right? It was 9.30am on a Sunday and I could have woken up some neighbour if I rang the wrong bell, but the name on the left sounded nicer to me and that one it was 🙂
I had a long, nice talk and tour with the current tenants. We discussed and clarified all needed processes and payments and by the time that the rest of the group arrived, I knew that this is my apartment and I wanted it. The landlord was surprised seeing me there and asked me how I knew which apartment it was and I just smiled and said “intuition”. I expressed that I was certainly interested in renting this apartment, left my contact details and said goodbye. The landlord said they wanted to make the decision still that evening and would call me to inform about it.
Tired, but damn proud I drove to my parents home, had lunch and went to bed for a good nap after this stressful event. When I woke up, I turned my phone back on and shortly after I received the call from the landlord telling me that they would chose me as a tenant, if I was still interested. Of course I was!!! This undertaking was a true success and it overwhelmed me so much that I ran to my parents, who sat in the garden and jumped around in pyjamas ecstatically shouting “I got the apartment, I got the apartment, I got the apartment!” whilst tears of relief, gratitude and joy streamed down my face!

That was the story of a woman’s experience on how powerful focus and will are, when you really really want something! This whole suffering journey built up the willpower deep within, in order to get what already was meant for me. Even though I lacked sleep and didn’t feel even 80% physically fit, I had the clearest vision, the best intuition and knowledge of what was right to do when. Kind of or comparable with a state of emergency, rushed with adrenaline and equipped with courage and the best eloquence needed to say what they needed to hear.
It was through this experience that I learned to cherish crises for the fire they set free inside of me. With this experience I truly understand the messages of all the top life coaches saying that in order to make radical change in your life, you need to:

  1. know what you want and have a goal in life, else you are like a taxi driver: moving a lot but getting nowhere
  2. let go of dreams that are not yours and orient your life decisions on yourself
  3. focus/ visualise/ rehearse/ feel your goal persistently and you will attract it into your life and experience it
  4. understand with your subconscious and conscious mind that where you are right now is not where you want to be! And that the distinction between these two states will make you move towards the goals. Pressure & tension, that we so often judge, are in fact the primary drivers of our actions. My dissatisfaction created enough pressure to move towards my goals. So pressure can be used to my advantage, as much as pressure is also needed to make something as precious as a diamond <3
  5. trust that life offers you multiple experiences and opportunities to gain such insights which make you grow and enter a new level of consciousness

So today I honour this experience and in memory of that creation, I decided to share this article and hope to pass on the spark. I pass on the inspiration to full-heartedly accept every challenge in life, knowing and trusting that it always gets you closer to what you really want in life.

If you want to hear more magical manifesting stories and advise on which tools to use to define, attract, focus and get what you want in life, my dear friend Gerry and I will be hosting a workshop next week Thursday, 25th May! It will take place in no other venue than my dream apartment, that I transformed into a culture & community space, as I visualised it a year ago 🙂 More details can be found here:

https://www.facebook.com/events/1380791158633162/

Thanks for reading <3

In truthful nakedness,

Annabelle

P. S. Oh and by the way, all boxes on my wish list for the apartment have been ticked off and my friend is still insanely in love with that guy she kicked me out of bed for 😉

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